


Immortalized

by jaeseoksoo



Series: Sheith October Fest [7]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: M/M, is this still considered a ficlet?, keith thinks too much
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-08
Updated: 2018-10-08
Packaged: 2019-07-28 05:06:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16234802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaeseoksoo/pseuds/jaeseoksoo
Summary: Keith reminisces.





	Immortalized

**Author's Note:**

> Day 7 of my SOFT project.

There are memories Keith always keeps close to his heart no matter how old he and Shiro get.

 

His life until now has been an amalgamation of the good and the bad: the bad being the fact that he was left to fend for himself at a young age, alone and scared, with nobody to form bonds with or call his family. Of course, looking back at it now, knowing the story of his Galra mother and his human father, everything’s purely circumstantial and it was saving the universe or saving Keith and even he knows which decision should be made when faced with a choice like that.

 

As for the good, it mostly comprises of memories of the man who saved him from himself, the man who gave him hope when he saw a future in Keith that no one around him did.

 

Shiro is everything good in Keith’s life.

 

* * *

 

Keith doesn’t know how differently his life could have turned out if it weren’t for Shiro.

 

Even when he was younger, back at the academy, he’s made up his mind into becoming as insignificant as possible, to just breeze through everything without a hitch, and leave the orphanage when he turned 18, without really drawing any attention to himself.

 

Simple in theory, hard in practice.

 

Keith has just too much anger in him, too much pent-up rage bubbling beneath the surface. It’s nobody else’s fault but himself and his self-deprecation leads him to lash out at the people who try to get close to him. It’s a downward spiral every day and Keith hit rockbottom when everybody who cared, tried to get close to Keith stopped trying altogether.

 

Keith didn’t mind in the long run. But it did get lonely.

 

* * *

 

Keith was getting used to the loneliness until Shiro came along.

 

There Shiro was, with his perfect smile and perfect face, the garrison’s perfect poster boy. Best pilot the garrison ever had. Youngest pilot to achieve so many accomplishments in such a short time.

 

Shiro was so perfect, so kind that even when Keith stole his car from under his nose, instead of a scolding what he got from Shiro was a chance to redeem himself, to prove to the adults that he’s more than just a problem case, that he can be something, can be someone and it would be easy because Shiro was there to ground him, keep him sane and walking down the right path.

 

At first, it angered Keith. Why was this man being so nice to him? Who did he think he is? Why did he choose Keith? Why would Keith even trust him?

 

The anger isn’t new to Keith but the budding seed of something, of trust, a respect Keith has a hard time giving to any of his classmates or instructors? That was new. It should be hard to incorporate a new person to his life but with Shiro it’s as easy as breathing. It scares Keith to bring down his walls and let someone in to his messed-up life but there’s just something about Takashi Shirogane that’s different from everyone else. There is kindness in his eyes, a kindness that Keith knows someone without a pure heart could never replicate.

 

Keith doesn’t believe people innately as altruistic as Shiro exist. He doubts people could just drop everything to help others without any ulterior motive. Yet, time and again Shiro showed Keith he is exactly that person, a person who just saw Keith and thought, ‘this kid needs help, and it’s help I can offer so why shouldn’t I?’.

 

It’s such a humbling experience for Keith it made him teary-eyed for a few weeks every time he thought about Shiro caring about him, his thoughtfulness and blind trust in Keith.

 

Eventually, Keith reciprocates the trust Shiro gives him and opens up to him, tells him his deepest thoughts, his deepest feelings. He feels most comfortable around Shiro and it was still in early stages of their friendship that Keith realized losing Shiro would be akin to losing a limb, unbearable and takes a long time to adjust to.

 

* * *

 

There are days when Keith thinks Shiro was the older brother he never got to have.

 

Shiro’s the perfect support system for Keith and he cared for him enough that Keith saw Shiro as his found family. Even Adam, Shiro’s significant other, started caring for Keith when Keith frequented their quarters enough that it was rare to see Shiro without Keith or Keith without Shiro. Keith knows he got lucky when Adam was accommodating of Keith and didn’t see him as a clingy kid—which, Keith was not, he swears—who needed constant attention from Adam’s boyfriend.

 

Years pass by and Keith grows older. As he grows older, he grows closer to the man he would become when Shiro leaves for his Kerberos mission, and with Keith’s growth came the evolution of Keith’s feelings for Shiro.

 

Keith wakes up one day and realizes that his feelings for Shiro run deeper than that merely of a brother’s. There are days when he hangs out with Shiro and Adam and perhaps it’s from carelessness on the older boys’ part but the two would be affectionate toward each other. Sometimes they show their affection through small touches to the other’s cheek or through Shiro leaning his head against Adam’s shoulder or Shiro wrapping his arms around Adam’s waist as he prepares meals for the three of them.

 

Sometimes Keith forgets it’s rude to stare so openly and so does just that. To his relief (or is it disappointment?) all Keith gets when he’s caught staring is a ruffle of his hair from Shiro who’s always with a flustered expression on his face after having been caught by Keith being sweet to his boyfriend.

 

* * *

 

Just being in the close proximity of Shiro, feeling his natural light, a radiance about him that warmed Keith seemed enough at first, until it wasn’t.

 

Keith knows it will never be reciprocated the way he wants to and Keith rarely wanted anything in his life besides a family. Yet, he _wants_ to have Shiro the way Adam has Shiro.

 

He thinks it’s just a stupid teenage crush. It probably is. But Keith’s crushing on Shiro so hard and frankly, he can only blush so many times before Shiro starts to wonder if there’s something wrong with Keith and Keith would rather turn into a tomato than have Shiro find out that he likes him in a less platonic, more romantic way.

 

 

* * *

 

Takashi Shirogane is everything that Keith aspires to be. It’s safe to say he’s Keith’s hero at this point in his life, a boy who’s confident and loved by everyone. Still, he remains down to earth, doesn’t let his popularity get to his head. Shiro’s always kind, always willing to help someone out, always sees the good in people. Most of all, he was always there for Keith whenever Keith needs him or even if he doesn’t Shiro always knows when to go looking for Keith, when to go save Keith from trouble.

 

It probably doesn’t help that Keith spends most of his waking time, if not in his classes, then with Shiro. Keith knows how mentally and emotionally strong Shiro is and that he would never need someone like Keith to turn to for his troubles. Still, like a moth drawn to a flame, Keith wants to be the one Shiro leans and depends on whenever Shiro has a bad day and when things get rough in the garrison. He wants to wrap his arms around Shiro, keep him safe, make him laugh his ugly laugh. He wants to protect Shiro the way Shiro has protected Keith since Shiro’s first visit in the academy.

 

And yet.

 

And yet Keith never makes his feelings to Shiro known because he respects Shiro and Adam, and he knows he can never be anything but a little brother in Shiro’s eyes.

 

* * *

 

 

Keith vividly remembers that day he accidentally overhears Admiral Sanda and Sam Holt talking about Shiro’s sickness. Keith’s vision goes red and he can’t really be blamed for stomping his way to where Shiro was then, demanding why he never told him about his sickness as though Keith had a right to ever demand things from Shiro.

 

As though he’s entitled to be this possessive of Shiro.

 

He braces himself for Shiro telling him exactly that but Shiro just sighs, head drooping as he explains to Keith what’s wrong with him and that he still plans to push through the mission to Kerberos regardless Admiral Sanda’s or Adam’s objection.

 

The way Shiro says Adam’s name leaves a bitter taste on Keith’s tongue. He doesn’t ask but he’s known Shiro for a while and Shiro’s body language tells Keith that something definitely went wrong the last time he was with Adam. As curious Keith is, he doesn’t pry because it’s simply too personal and he believes Shiro will tell him whenever he’s ready to do so.

 

* * *

 

 

Keith vividly remembers the day he spent with Shiro before the mission launch.

 

When Shiro tells Keith he wants to bring him to the launch site, the first question that crossed Keith’s mind was—

 

“Why aren’t you bringing Adam?”

 

“He’s… busy, with TA stuff,” Shiro says, not meeting Keith’s eyes. And suddenly, Keith _knows_ and he feels bad for bringing it up. Shiro, ever the perceptive one, shakes his head and gives Keith a sad smile.

 

“I’m glad you’re here, Keith. I’ll miss hanging out with you. Can you imagine I’ll be stuck hanging out with Matt and Sam and probably buckets of space ice?” Shiro says in an exaggerated tone of disbelief.

 

Keith can’t help himself and laughs despite of the sadness twisting in his gut, knowing Shiro will be miles away, off-planet unable to reach him and talk to him.

 

“Well, you asked for this, you know,” remarks Keith.

 

“Mhmm, I guess I did,” chuckles Shiro. “Hey.. Don’t get into too much trouble when I’m away okay? If.. if you ever need help with anything, just ask Adam. He’ll still be there for you even when I’m not around.”

 

Keith already knows this but even when Keith’s world collapsed in on itself after Shiro’s disappearance that same year, Keith never goes to Adam for anything.

 

* * *

 

The darkest memories of Keith consist of the months spent looking for Shiro. Whether it’s during the year Shiro got abducted by the Galra or the year he died without them knowing, Keith scoured all corners of the known universe to look for him. It was hard for Keith, emotionally exhausted and afraid for Shiro’s safet. It was only made harder by the fact that everyone gave up on Shiro and it was up to Keith to bring Shiro back.

 

Because Keith could never give Shiro up. Not in this universe or in any alternate reality.

 

Giving up on Shiro means betraying not only Shiro but also himself. Giving up on Shiro means giving up on a part of himself and there’s too little left of Keith that he can’t risk losing the biggest part of himself anymore.

 

Keith keeps looking for Shiro even when everyone tells him to stop. He keeps looking even when they ask him to take more care of himself, sleep more and eat more and not wallow in Shiro’s absence because it was futile and fruitless.

 

In the end, they were all wrong. It wasn’t futile. Shiro came back and Keith’s just glad he was there when Shiro did. 

 

* * *

 

 

After three years of being with Shiro, Keith knows there’s nothing he won’t do for this man anymore, for his happiness, for his safety. He’s screamed himself to the astral plane just to see Shiro and bring him back. He’s used sheer will to literally bring him back from the dead and he’s killed an alien overlord to keep Shiro by his side.

 

Keith knows the risks of loving Earth’s greatest defender. He knows that a constant fear of losing Shiro will be a part of their life, as long as they keep living this life full of battles, battles meant to defend and save the universe. Yet, regardless of the time left, regardless of how short or long a time Keith has to be with Shiro on this physical plane, in this life, he will always have his memories of Shiro, of their time together and no alien or force of nature will be able to pry those from Keith’s hands, from Keith’s heart.

**Author's Note:**

> I was listening to Immortalized by Hidden Citizens when I wrote most of this. It's, guess what, 12:52 am. It's hard to do this daily, to be honest, and I'm lagging behind my self-assigned schedule so much, I don't know how long I can keep this up. 
> 
> I'll still do my best, though.
> 
> Thank you for reading. :)


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